


loneliness is the human condition

by Anonymous



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Uchiha Sasuke, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Reincarnation, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, important characters to be tagged later, uchiha sasuke is harry potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24268252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke, for whatever god awful reason, is now Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. They can't stand water. They flinch at loud sounds. Their boarding school has alakeand is filled withchildren, who are loud, which means that they are actually in Hell.Also,hawks are far superior to owls. Fight me, fuckers.OR: magic is easy, socialising is Not. sasuke-as-harry would really just like everyone to Shut Up, and also will they ever be able to hearloudnoises without flinching ever again? The teacher's are getting concerned and sasuke Does Not like that.
Comments: 26
Kudos: 197
Collections: Anonymous





	loneliness is the human condition

**\- "...Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow."**

* * *

Sasuke Wakes Up very suddenly one day, at the Harry Potter age of ten-almost-eleven and the Uchiha Sasuke age of nineteen.

Harry is-- _was_ , because _Harry_ has ten years to Sasuke's nineteen so _they're_ the ones in control of this body, thankyouverymuch--weeding the garden, swimming in his-- _what the **fuck** are pronouns in this situation, kami help them_\--cousin's too-large grass-stained clothes, thinks, _huh_ , about the _entire new life_ he--they?--just remembered, shelves it into the box labeled _'for later, or, more preferably, never'_ , and continues gardening.

It's a very peaceful day, all told, considering they were only denied lunch and were given half a bowl of tomato soup and some dry bread to go along with it for dinner, which, according to Harry-Of-Before's memories, was one of the better days.

* * *

Sasuke is going to Scream.

They were having a nice time! They did basically all the housework, had a small lunch or dinner or, if they were especially blessed, a small lunch _and_ dinner, and then walked back into the cupboard, where they could ruminate over their...past life? and all of the mistakes they made, and where they could consider how the war effort against Kaguya was going since Sasuke shoved Naruto away from the creature made of water and instead drowned themselves.

Their _blond_ best friend; Sakura was a battlefield of bloody limbs across from them both and looked like she was going to _murder them_ herself if they lived.

Which, obviously, they didn't.

But _anyway._ Being with the Dursley's is like a never-ending, monotonous D-rank mission and they had all the time in the world to ponder the weird feeling of nostalgia-slash-freaked out because _new life_.

The letter ruined that.

* * *

One perfectly normal, bland, extremely surreal if you think about it because where are the _brawls?_ Sasuke wants to _fight somebody_. They haven't had a good fight in...approximately three days, but it might as well have been _forever._

_Anyway._

One perfectly normal, bland, actually extremely surreal--thanks to the artificially-crafted normalness of the entire street--morning, the post arrives. Sasuke, although their relatives call them Harry since they haven't bothered to tell them about the sudden change since they really and truly Do Not Care about the civilians and how the civilians refer to them, is told to get the post and so they get the fucking post.

They idly check the letters on muscle-memory from having the Actual-Harry-Who-Didn't-Remember-He-Was-Actually-Sasuke do this for years, serenely discarding the letters that'll throw Vernon--they _refuse_ to demean their many, many, _actual_ uncles by referring to this whale of a civilian as 'Uncle'--into a towering rage because he gets rather annoying when he's like that, when they see the letter that marked the point where everything went to shit: a perfectly innocuous, if outdated, letter addressed to one _Harry James Potter_ , at _The Cupboard Under The Stairs._

They blink, and tuck the letter into the too-large waistband of their hand me downs, and carry the letters over to Vernon, who glowers at them suspiciously and exchanges slightly worried looks with Petunia that Dudley doesn't notice, but Sasuke does.

_Did they know about the letter?_ Sasuke wonders, and considers throwing the letter out on the principle of it being a prank by this body's relatives, but decides to read it through anyway.

* * *

Apparently, the kind-of chakra energy was actually magic, which. 

_Interesting._

It was all kinds of weird, though. 'We await your owl?' Sasuke doesn't have some owl readily on-hand for letter delivery, and on that subject, who the _hell_ uses _owls_ for messages? Everyone knows hawks are far superior.

(Okay, so maybe Sasuke's biased thanks to their hawk summons, but who can blame them? _Owls._ Hah.)

Also where are the _phones._ Granted, the phones are trashy here, but they're advanced far enough along to take _phone calls._ God.

The letter is...interesting. And ultimately useless. If they can't reply thanks to their non-existent owl ( _owl._ What a joke) then this magic school is _useless,_ which means they're going to cram the letter in the folder in their mind labeled _'useless knowledge but knowledge nonetheless'_ and promptly forget about it. Or just never think about it again.

Besides, even if they _did_ have an owl, what's the _point_ of going to magic school? It'd basically be like the Academy, and Sasuke can definitely _breeze_ through the Academy--well, not _physically_ they can't, but they're _working on that._ Academically, however? _Easy._

And, if left to their own devices, they could recreate _jutsu_ with this weird not-quite-chakra magic, with a bit of time. There's no _physical_ requirement for magic, which is a good thing because this body is _scrawny_ and short and _incredibly weak_. 

They've started on a flexibility regime, one that they used to be able to flow through with _ease_ by the time they were ten in the _other life_ , if that's what it is because they're still not convinced this isn't a genjutsu and if it is then _why are they still here why are they being useless their friends could be dead_ \--

_Breathe._ In.

_Exhale._ Out.

Okay. Okay. _Not going there._ It's a miracle they hadn't had a panic attack before then, anyway. 

Small mercies, they suppose.

The letter. Magic school. _Magic._

They curl up to go to sleep, all stick-thin limbs and too-big clothes on the mattress, and quietly throw the letter away in the morning. 

Who needs magic school, anyway? Especially one led by a guy with way too many names and titles. He's probably a self-important prick, and Sasuke's had enough of those, having killed enough when they annoyed them, thanks. 

_Magic school._

Hmph.

* * *

The letters...start sending themselves in _earnest._

It starts with a second letter in the mail. Then three letters. 

At that point, Petunia goes to check the mailbox, having been sending suspicious looks at Sasuke for the past two days as if unable to believe-- _something_ , and comes back with wide-eyes and a screech at the mailbox and three letters clutched in her hand and a vicious glare meant for Sasuke and Sasuke only.

"Where are the other letters, boy! These _can't_ have been the first letters, you've seen them, you've read them, you've probably _sent a reply_ to that blasted school, haven't you, you _freak?_ Get in your cupboard!" She twists Sasuke's ear harshly and bodily throws them out the door, Vernon ushering Dudley out the door despite the fat boy's whining and yelling that _he wanted to see!_

The two lock the door, and Dudley forces Sasuke away from it, pressing his eye close to the keyhole. Sasuke just sits against the wall and... _thinks._

They _knew_ about the letters, then. Were _dreading it_ , even, which means the theory that it was just a mean prank is null and void.

_Interesting_.

* * *

It only got worse after that. 

Letters _everywhere._ Letters in place of the eggs, letters from the fireplace, fucking _letters._

It was quite annoying, although the way Vernon pitched a fit every time was rather amusing.

* * *

Eventually, Vernon, to put it quite simply, _goes round the bend._

He demands them all to go pack because they are _leaving_ , and then they're all crammed in the car (? weird metal contraption) and Vernon's speeding through the streets like a madman, going back and tracing his route and twisting and turning crazily like he thinks that'll _help_.

Speaking as a shinobi, what he's doing is _useless._ These car-things are _insanely easy to track_. They're _loud_. They're _stinky. They are not suited for stealth._

They end up at a hotel. The letters come during breakfast. They leave again.

This time, Vernon drives them to the _sea._ Which is _such a bad move._ Sasuke _despises_ the water--it's cold and wet and miserable and _you can't breathe in there and you're airways are clogged and it's hard to move since your arms feel like they're bogged down with weights even while they're chakra-enforced--_

They don't...like the water. They are _distinctly afraid_ of the water.

Which is why, when it's nighttime and everyone else is asleep while they lay on the cold floor with a thin blanket to keep out the bone-deep _awful_ chill, they're still awake, listening to the crashing of the waves outside and the rain beating down on the hut _and oh kami they're going to_ **die** again--

Someone pounds on the door. Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

The door crashes open, and there's a large silhouette framed by the rain and the sea and a bright bolt of lightning--they flinch at the loud, rumbling thunder--as Vernon and Petunia burst out of their room, wide-eyed, Vernon with a gun and Petunia with curlers in her hair.

In the--very small--part of their mind that isn't screaming with fear about the water and panicking, Sasuke admires the sheer drama of it all.

_Impressive._ Five out of ten, would give more except _water._

* * *

The large man is called Hagrid, he has a magic pink umbrella, and he has a cake for them.

He also tells them more about the magic school, Hogwarts--which is _such_ a bad name, _disgusting_ \--and yells at Vernon and Petunia for not telling them about their dead parents even though they don't _care_ , not really, and then takes them off the _fucking_ island, which means it looks like they're going to magic school after all.

_Figures._

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever update my other works??? who knows. also guess what their hogwarts house is i'm curious


End file.
